`how many times in a month you need to have the sex` my father tells me as I'm driving down an urban highway. 'what the fuck' i think 'is there anything you can do to reduce the desire' he fucking continues. jesus christ. like its cool that they're comfortable enough to talk to me about this kind of stuff but give it a break. Americans make me happy. Well gringos in general. That's kind of pathetic huh? Don't eat anymore you fat fucker. stop fucking eating. but then you don't wake...

hypo attack in the morning resulting in a hyper attack soon afterwards that doesn't subside until you hit the couch fucking a. why people don't like me I don't know just get past the annoying part and I'm worth it sweet dude sweet dudette richard david is avoiding me at all costs avoiding me at all costs understand me, because I already understand you understand my pain, because I've already had a taste of yours he tells me he wants a chinky wife he's a middle aged sho...

So I wouldn't have to put filthy Indian as my Nationality. So I wouldn't have to put off looks and inclinations of being a fucking dot head. I'm so tired of this shit. Hurry up and Lose my fucking nationality. It does me NO good whatsoever. Who the fuck would want to be Indian in the first place. The fuckers dont know how to do anything right. Look at the fucking country. It smells like crap from the minute you land. God, hurry up and Make me Canadian already. Jesus Fucking Christ....

I'm trying the whole pro-ana movement which condones anorexic behaviour stating that society made them do it. its pretty liberating, I've lost 5 pounds in a week. As my mother rushes to give me the sandwich she's made for me in the morning, I tell her to cut it out. She doesn't get when i tell her I don't eat anymore. She's like a post menopausal psychotic nutcase. BTW, is your mom post-menopausal yet? if she isn't , just wait, the good days are yet to come. I live in an almost post men...

means `go die and come back` its a street insult used throughout japan shinde koe its just one of them days that a girl goes through just one of them days (go monica) i feel like shit today and I can't stop thinking of the ultimate end. its kinda scary, but its happening. its just another kind of selfishness, or so my theory states. fuck life liberty and the pursuit of penis just shut the fuck up you fucking loser. do you ever fucking shut up what the fuck is wrong with y...

So I sit and I feel the urge but not the fulfillment. What else is new. I saw a picture of him on my phone. So sweet. So innocent. So unattracted to me. Like always I was trying to hard. And the failures bring me down just as bad the successes bring me up. Let go of the desperation. I was purposefully wasted, so blame it on the shots. sweet. but it is conveniently close by. okay just leave it to that. slap. slap of reality to this utter brittle self-concept. I am big black ...

The beautiful man told me as he tried to look away. As I get escorted out of the oldest gay bar in town, and the withering queen looks at me and tells me "do you remember?" do I remember what I feel, fucking faggot. anywho's the night went okay, i didn't get any and my racial insecurities only deepened. but hey. why didn't he want me. why doesn't anyone want me? god I'm so pathetic man. why do you like him, I ask? he's quiet, he responds. jesus fucking christ. light me up a fu...

Do I have a horrible habit of lying to myself? Can you tell me why he's not craving me? Why he doesn't miss my presence. Why he looks at me in a half attention gaze and let me know how busy he's been this week. While the whole bar gazes him up and down and moans for his body. I look at it and see where I've already been. Why can't he just love me? Why must I fall for the stupidest people? I want you to want me like the air you breathe. I want you to need me, like everything. a...

Kissing Soldiers, what a beautiful hobby. Kissing Soldiers, ai ai ai the last two have had big ass cocks too. they're gonna make me form a preference its gonna suck BIG, BIG cock what the fuck am I supposed to do. what a predickament....... Hopefull the person I "met" will be there. and who knows what will be going through his mind hes just looking for fun... but aren't we all I wanna fuck till the morning comes it was a really great experience let me tell you my belly ge...

So I'm pumping at work. pumping like I'm enjoying it or something. God it feels good to be working again. I mean really working. I hope they renew my contract so I don't turn into some unemployed loser again. JFC, gotta keep the doors open I guess. I feel like getting wasted tonight. So hopefully this is an upward spiral. well I think I've been in one for the 10 months or so. but this might be the fast good part. lets hope so,. I wonder what it'll feel like to see my baby aga...

That niggah going down. Who he think he is. Something Special. Please the only thing special about him is his big ass cock. And I mix like an over frozen strawberry in a smoothie. And I miss him for shizzle. But I know I can't have him Cause the fucker aint called. What he think he doing? Acting all cute and shit. God I just want to fall asleep with him again. mmmmmmmmm

So I feel a little less burdened today. I only think about him when I sing. Which is better than yesterday when I thought about him all the time. It seems like I had to go fuck it up for myself for me to feel better. Wierd. I went to the only gay bar in town and heavily hinted at being in love with him. They know him. It's weird how much complexity comes into play when you start analyzing your actions. Like I really dont feel that internal longing for him like I did last night. ...

me love you long time i feel like a cheap hooker that has fallen for my john i wait for his return to my corner or my store front i want to act like a prostitute but still work to seduce him seduce him to fall in love with this shit jesus he was so perfect more perfect than my ex anyday but my ex stuck around , eh? i gave him too much credit for simply sticking around but what else is a bitch like me supposed to do man I hope he asks about me or at least wonders where I am but...

God I was so mean yesterday. I should apologize. I'll just tell Karen. It was all good in the hood. JFC I have to stop using that. well these are my sayings so I should be proud, no? Drunk and Loud, what a horrible combo. a deadly combo, perhaps? okie dokie phenokee she wanted me......lol I'm just too young heh? no more okay? no more okay? god I'm such a retard man. okay take a chill pill. there's always tommorow.......... always.

the untreatable strains are prevelant in Okinawa because of "Indescent Military Acts" I grew up around those indescent military acts I am a self-absorbed loser nobody wants that the old man couldn't handle me how should I take it from here god I made such a fool of myself what a loser but its all good in the hood god if that's gonna be the line I use to smoothe me over for the next 6 months wait lets revert to my old line There's always tommorow.....always wait now I f...