Bizouncey - Plight of the Self-Esteem

Published on February 1, 2005 By propagandhi In Philosophy

So I sit and I feel the urge but not the fulfillment.
What else is new.
I saw a picture of him on my phone.
So sweet.
So innocent.
So unattracted to me.
Like always I was trying to hard.
And the failures bring me down just as bad the successes bring me up.

Let go of the desperation.
I was purposefully wasted, so blame it on the shots.
sweet.
but it is conveniently close by.
okay just leave it to that.

slap.
slap of reality to this utter brittle self-concept.
I am big black and beautiful.
dont you ever forget that.
Black.......... that's the only fucking problem.
JFC- so tired of this shit.

Get over it, my father tells me in the ethnic accent.
getting over it daddy.

its only tuesday, it seems like this wave of emotion is becoming all too normal.
weekends to create the drama.
weekdays to recover.
weekends to create more drama.
its not good.
but its not bad either

.

Tokyo, might be an escape.
but still not leaving my problems behind.
don't want to pull another Jonny.
I think Okinawa is a good nurturing place to fix all the wrongs on the inside.
so I leave a better person.
well lets see If I can keep this cake job.
I really hope so.

Comments

No one has commented on this article. Be the first!

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!