What can validly make you feel good, and how getting addicted to it will make you a better more self-confident person and only better your life....... it took years to figure it out. But it's a job well done. now I sound like some dothead philosopher that works in the front of the walmart ever since my computer programmer son brought me to suwannee, GA. but i guess the "pieces of you" philosophy bit from Jewl rings true. After doing a good job, you feel refreshed, your life has new meaning...
Ifm gonna make a mistake- Ifm gonna do it on purpose Ifm gonna waste my time Cuz Ifm full as a tick And Ifm scratching at the surface And what I find is mine And when the day is done, and I look back And the fact is I had fun, fumbling around All the advice I shunned, and I ran Where they told me not to run, but I sure Had fun, so Ifm gonna fuck it up again Ifm gonna do another detour Unpave my path And if you wanna make sense Whatcha looking at me for Ifm no good at m...
Dirty Dirty Boy of Sin I am. Dirty Dirty Boy. The drunk marines are endless. The few, the not so proud says the wrinkling 35 yr ole E-4 next to me. I walk into the hall of Kamikaze happiness and the world starts spinning all of a sudden. A weekend of Chinese Xanax blows me a punch of "chilling out" and the world today is somwhat less bearable. these chinese motherfuckers are going down. don't ask me to do shit. dedicate your life to these children. I want a man. I'm so fuckin...
How can any human regardless of religion and upbringing feel bad after good sex. I only feel dirty after bad sex. Good sex is when your temprature rises. when the kissing is only stopped to focus on snowballing pleasure. where you forget about you inadeqacies and focus on sweet love making to that human in that bed. when you're equally happy when you please the other person as you are when being pleased. when you both are being pleased simultaneously it feels like heaven is opening up ...
I've felt these signs before, of a Job slipping away. I hold on to only what I want to. I do not appreciate other people's tolerance of my laziness. My physical condition is not reliable in any way shape or form. And then the Rice Islander walks off in a non confrontational way. I'm sorry I'm brown. I'm brown. Maybe it doesn't really matter, but I see the world through a brown lens. And that sucks big black cock. Squirt Squirt for me like anybody else would My stomach waits i...
Too much of watching the Bachelor, too much of hanging out in the maternity ward. Where those babies are so pure and cute and their bioligical predessecors are only a footstep away. Look at those red hairful babies. I want one of those. As I step into the Britney mode of things, I realize that life needs to move on. I need to be a more positive person. And stop making victims of my presence, victims of my presence. Someone is crying in the background, and at this moment the wails i...
Another weekend of getting nothing but exicted. Weekend of being stimulated beyond your normal realm. A weekend old things becoming new and new things becoming old. Off walks big gay dave, in walks southern oxfordite. angry angry angry angry as all sin combined. You can't be happy without me, do you understand, you can't be happy without me. I hung out with Renee alot of this weekend. It was good, she is comforting. I just shot John Lennon. God my arm is hurting so much. It'...
After a weekend of way too much drinking and making new friends. And a morning of basking in Gaijin Glory. I realized something that aged me 5 years. Here is an intro of an article that has alot of interest to me. Japanese have long embraced a salad of feelings toward Korea. Guilt over the brutal occupation of the Korean peninsula, contempt for a people who must be inferior to suffer suppression, bewildered resentment of anti-Japanese prejudice enshrined in curbs on the import of...
God I got so drunk last night, but it was fun. Letting go of what I don't even have. And maybe its gonna be okay after all. I hope I didn't touch Christians face too much, but he does have a nice face doesn't he. People think I'm a girl.(he says) God Phil is so Anglo-hot. British men are the best. but their pansies are so wrinkled. you know what I'm saying. what should I do? I hope I didn't piss Ellie off too much, god Dave and her are like 2 butch dykes in heat.....lol You...
My baby says he never asked me to change and perhaps he never did. But his hate of all things black, and his love of this brownie. confused me, I was set in an Indian housewife mentality, and I should have let it go. I wonder if he will still love me the way I am now. If its true love he will I will not get rid of the black inside of me. I will not push it aside like nicole richie. Of course it will limit my selection in men But men are just fancy handbags. remember
She comes around like the morning sun. And she greets me with her warmness. The dirty smiling of the younger boys stirs me the right way. And I see her struggle in her shadow. Her eyes tell me nothing that I want to hear. He looks at me and tells me I'm hard to get close to. He's a stupid mother fucker with fudged up teeth. Where love puts you is where you want to be. So I think of him naked, I think of him pleasantly. But he wants to wear his darkly bright aloha shirt. He's a mid...
so here's a jimmy joke about your mama that you might not like, I heard she was a frisco dyke. city of compton. get me out of myself today. I can't stand the sight, smell, the mere existence of myself today. I roll down a selfish spiral shrinks call depression. So whats fat black and gay man supposed to do? is he supposed to gain comfort from peers. tried that, doesn't work. other people are less reliable than yourself. is he supposed to drink cheap (sometimes not so cheap) dr...
I need to get over not wanting to be gay. I need to get over trying to make the gringos like me. I need to get over my third world complex. If I was in Britain, he says. If only I was in Britain. And I've gained 30 fucking pounds, or 15kgs since I've been here and I'm on a one way road to fatness. Holler, Holler anyone who wants to get dollars dollars. God gringos are so hot. I just want to eat and get drunk until I'm entertained. I just want to be fucking normal, but normal is boring isn'...
If I could count the number of times I heard that, I would choose not to. As the sun impresses itself on my bumpy face, I choose to ignore it. I'm fucking hot and these brink third worlders have no concept of what is appropriate behaviour. It makes sense to them and I guess that's all that matters. My heart beats heavy from the warmess of the wind. The heat penetrates my existence, I can't run away. I choose to ignore the sun, like I choose to ignore half the children and their bash...
ugggh, and the creative burst of a minute ago is over and I feel a growing addiction to the world of blogging. sometimes like I feel like I don't have a partner sometimes I feel like I don't have a friend. and I sit under the bridge thinking super real ground breaking thoughts, but I'm still not fucking happy. well happiness is so relative and I wish someone had thought me that earlier. fucking bible bangers, they banged the bible so hard on my head, I'm surprised it didn't cause a con...