the music bounces off my happy bubble and the money keeps on rolling in the sad songs start making sense to me in a real way and the happy songs too gosh where do I go from here I have everything someone could ask for i kept a bad man and I scored a good man now my real ho'in days will begin? then we take peace and liberty to a whole new level the way we take care of each other is adorable just waiting for the day that he tells me its not working or refuses to call me back. ...

so he aint called and he's avoiding my phone calls i gotta take a chill pill and relax he likes me for me but he's not gonna stick around he better call before the weekend cause i aint calling him no more you're falling fast .... they tell me i hope you don't break i have to not worry about it too much he tells me he thinks about me non stop i hope he still does i hope they're still positive thoughts

Look at the memories we choose to create they fall into my soul like an early morning layer of snow Which of these memories will we choose to forget Which ones will never leave me I can talk about your kiss and your hands I can wallow in thought about your boyish smile your ever so careless eyes as they look at me as they wander no punchline in this early morning rant just a kiss in absence and some clean-dirty thoughts

then he tells me everything I need to hear in a soft spoken demeanor he takes care of me and I take care of him i hope I dont annoy him and we play the jealousy card well I act and set limits i swallowed like a cheap hooker and adrian let me know how immense what I did was I've been where I"ve never been before and i ate snails today what are you gonna do when hes gone worries the best friend in the corner the sadder more sincere soldier in the corner radiates the sorrow th...

I'm Selfish -he tells me as he gives me a lap dance in front of the wrinkling locals as he shakes his booty all up on business and I lean back to calm the waves of my desire he looks at me and tells me how beautiful I am, and I believe it, unlike him he kisses me in public like he's getting comfortable with himself, with me. you're all mine- he tells me in the midst of drunken glory the mother fucker wants me and I love it the questions of yesterday take a permanent position as such ...

memories of a moment in time when I had to compete with myself the FOB the muscular Indian bringing the hot Danish Guy to the Social and kind of avoiding me so I can latch on to those moments and realize that I'm not the shizzle or I can choose to forget them he was cute man, but he scored better than me. what a fucker and his man was from a country where he could sponsor him. okay i was beat,one of these days I was beat. so i start in a downward spiral where I can only stop it. a...

More beautiful nights keep on rolling and I let them spiral into me then the nights dont stop and his loving feels so right. over and over again he makes me feel the way I am peeling away my superficial insecurities and leaving the bare pains to pound in unison with my heart he loves me over and over again i hold him to realize that he is supposed to be here his kiss melts me and when he gets freaky he makes me lose control he does everything so close to perfect and he makes me ...

don't learn about my history, because then you know too much. says the crowd to the eternal foreigner. the outsider that doesn't know how to blend in. who is learning about my ancestors and scaring me. who is annoying when he tries to mimick us. who is wholly disadvantaged, but isn't that cute? you don't have to get me anything, as long as I'm with you. he tells me in the gay moonlight while my tears come to the forefront. I think about fucking the love out of him as he brings me to my se...

I tell you one thing though bitches; they come; they go But this bitch aint going this bitch stuck in the pipes to my heart she makes my eyes water when I think about her sweet words she makes me believe that everything I thought about the world was right she makes me believe that everything I thought about the world was wrong my sexual dependancy lessens

where is joeuser? joeuser my old blog pal is gone and I don't know where it is. I had some good shit in there and now I don't even have access to it. A life learned lesson that you can't really trust anything that is free. I hope it comes up for a day or two so I can print all that shit. especially before I get out of this job where there is a free printer. anywho's back to my self-created world. I am good enough I am strong enough and dog gonnit people like me and the low self...

and the world never stays the same when everything seems to be going great along comes some kind of confusion a Job is a good thing to have tells you the aging drying lesbian the soldier looks at you across the bar and his eyes share the same passion as yours you want to melt in his arms over and over again he tells me I need to practice some self control and his voice speaks right to my heart I have no pressure to resist him unless I paste too much of myself on him I want to ...

Let me go to places where I don't belong to believe in that feeling your kisses bring to much comfort your adoration way too much pain I drown in my own belief that you're too good to be true and the people say that whats between us is good if they only knew then the drunken walks to the gate in the air of morning glory continue and the walk aways take nothing but my aura I want to rescind in this demeanor and your english amazes me lord you bought me a night on the town i...

Enough of this feeling good of this making me happy of this your cock, my cock making each other happy cock cock a doodle doo writing poems on notes at the bar where you spilll your guts and I sit there and become shy where I tell you not too much, not too little where we drink to our happiness where we hold each other and tell each other we finally got what we fucking deserve drawing pictures talking dirty mocking each other god we're so horrible god we're so annoying t...

When you look at their name and it turns you on When you really don't care what happens as long as you're happy. we fuck with each other in exactly the right way we play with each others mind we play the jealousy card like a fine tuned violin and nothing escapes this duet I got a man in Japan and a dude in tahiti, believe me sweety I got enough to feed the needy are my lines getting old? will he get tired of me. he came out in his glasses yesterday...... how friggin cute. m...

The technical music brings back unnatural memories of drug influenced emotions that bruise the newer sees what the older never could and now I can build on a solid ground comfort me until I can comfort you warm me up with your beauty lets talk about our not so perfect childhoods and let each other know its gonna be okay concentrate on the love the bitter tells me the bitter, the hopeful, perhaps the lost we learn to protect ourselves over and over again we forget to protect our...