This is home, I grew up here, This is home. Do I need to repeat myself for you, you lily princess. You everlasting beautiful princess. I wish I could be more of you, I wish we could get married and have beautiful light-skinned children together. If not light-skinned then dark and intellectual. Whew.
I'm going through a gay mid-life crisis. My friends are getting married off and I'm stuck here doing nothing at all. They're having to deal with in-laws while my job is giving me shade about my health. Fuck Japan. It's too intense and conservative of a society. But it's SO different and I love how unique it is. Of course they walk around like they're the britain of the east. And perhaps they fucking are.
The fact is I'm home, but it's like this home is going through an identity crisis of it's own. And it's inhabitants reflect the confusion that pervades all things here. And it' so intense, from taking innocent children to "retreats" in a Jim Jones kind of way and making them cry about Jesus to the Amerasians that don't know how to spell their own Anglo names in English.
Well if you think about it, I'm not that different, I don't know how to write my name in Hindi.
That is pretty fucking sad isn't it?
And I can discount India all I want, but the unnegotiable fact is that I'm from there, my identity is forever tied to that crappy overpopulated nasty smelling Fresh off the Boat Country. So the locals love to concentrate on how beautiful their heart and emotions are. I discounted that as "third world" thinking, but now slowly I'm beginning to realize that there is a breathe of reality to that. I just need to experience it myself.
Peace in the Middle East.