Too friggin slow

Published on November 1, 2004 By propagandhi In Philosophy

He's fresh off the emotional boat and I can't handle it.
Money is evil.
The people you love are the one's you end up hurting the most.
You need to watch that shit.
Prenatal friends my ass.
Vindicate my lubrication.
Vindicate my nelly gay soul.

Then marry me and have fucking children.
Insert normality where there never has been that shit.
And the tear drops start coming.
And I'm going through the coming out shizzle all over again.
And for part II of my life story call me tommorow.

Comments

Phoenixboi

on Nov 01, 2004

Are you ok??

propagandhi

on Nov 02, 2004

I think I"ll be okay man

CamMeg

on Nov 02, 2004

Didn't they ask you from the beginning? Was this not a question asked? Did you deny it then afraid? Would it not have been easier to share it then in the long run? Do you not want normal whatever that may be? Is the calmness of it unacceptable? Is deciet more appealing? Does the noncommunication make things easier or more difficult ?Do you truly deeply love them as they do you? Is it fear of their judgement or is it truly the fear within yourself that is the real issue?Are you aware how your actions/communications effected the life of this person ? Does it matter? What is important too you ? Truly do you even know ? Do you want to know?

propagandhi

on Nov 03, 2004

The article isn't about one particular person Cam. It's about different people, truly it is confusing because I don't indicate when I'm changing who I'm talking about. I think you got the jist of it, when you asked what is important to me? and If I really want to know.
I think perhaps I'm afraid of the answer, so I avoid it.

CamMeg

on Nov 03, 2004

MAybe you have several personalities living inside you and this scares you. Perhaps if this is the case you fear not being accepted so you wish to deny it as well. Think about this truly I am serious you need to accept this if this is the case and embrace your uniqueness and accept that regardless of the issue that no one in this world is accepted by everyone just look @ any political campain and you see it on a wider scale. We all have something that's the beauty of diversity and we all judge people to one degree or another it is part of being human. Your scared of being poor that scares the hell out of you because you have been well cared for at home only paying little in rent not having to deal with household bills picking up things occasionally @ the grocery store and most of the time being reimbersed for it.

You don't want to get into a situation that you fear that you cannot handle if you leave home so you are staying as long as possible to save and you do and deal with what is necessary in order for this too continue. You get annoyed with your job because you work hard and long and are not being compensated enough so you are looking for something that you will be paid more with less bullshit. You wanted a relationship that is equal or where your partner made the same or more so you would not feel stressed and inadequate.

That didn't happen so you are confused yet do not want to let go because you have love for the person but handling most of the financial burden is a scary concept for you and this makes you angry at the other person but realize they were always honest and it makes you mad at yourself for not communicating everything so you don't know what to do?
You find their directness condecending since they are not in a good financial place but you do not say this because they have a general intimidating attitude.

Am I hitting it or what? So you try in some ways to continue your search thinking you can overcome all of this if you find another that is strong so you flirt ALOT with others but feel personal insecurities and panic that you try your all time best to hide but people see it so you try with doing extra for others to compensate them from noticing too much. You love your parents but they make you feel even worse by the way they talk to you as if you are not intelligent but a 15 year old moron instead of a grown man. So you escape by rping or having a fit saying work is stressing you out anything that will cause a deflection from taking your personal inventory and proving them wrong by taking responsibility for your life choices enabling them to treat you more like an adult by moving out and becoming the man you fear you may not be able to become because it is drilled into your head that you should be doing this or doing that instead of just doing something you vlahhhhhhhhh and shutdown. Then you clean or make dinner for them to stay in the safety they offer yet resent the attitude they hold. You know they have been right in the past because you are human and made some poor choices walking down the wrong path and they remind you of this and this doesn't help the ability of feeling courage. You can do it please you have to believe in yourself

propagandhi

on Nov 03, 2004

only 20% right...... but good job. you're more of a 5 dollah shrink than I am.

propagandhi

on Nov 04, 2004

Your scared of being poor that scares the hell out of you because you have been well cared for at home only paying little in rent not having to deal with household bills picking up things occasionally @ the grocery store and most of the time being reimbersed for it.

never been poor, but my mother grew up right above the poverty line so she kinda runs her life like she's about to go hungry, and consequently instilled a really ghetto core in her children.

cannot handle if you leave home so you are staying as long as possible

I'm home because I got a better job offer in my hometown, and it is considered insestious to have a non-married child living away from their parents in my/my parents culture.

That didn't happen so you are confused yet do not want to let go because you have love for the person but handling most of the financial burden is a scary concept for you and this makes you angry at the other person but realize they were always honest and it makes you mad at yourself for not communicating everything so you don't know what to do?You find their directness condecending since they are not in a good financial place but you do not say this because they have a general intimidating attitude

my "other person" is intimidating, and does have a condecending directness (good job Cam!) but I told that faggot every thing that I felt.

I guess you're more right than I first thougt, CAM....... but you probably have more years of being a $5 shrink than I do.

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