i only got attention from the japs tonight. those beautiful whities didn't want to be with me at all. the bitter marine that rejected me online did turn out to be totally bitter. he was almost suicidal. i don't want japanese friends, i want some nice military men to show me the light. i'm not the right fucking color. i'm not the right fucking occupation. i'm not the right fucking citizenship.
so i'm afraid of acting pathetic, i'm afraid of looking ridiculous, me and the drunk GI's only say hi.
Love me for being white enough for your goodness. tell me i'm beautiful in a way that i'll actually believe you. for the first time in months my self-esteem is killed. i want some mother fucking action, what the fuck is wrong with that.
my parents found out i smoke today, WTF. my mom found nudie pictures on my phone... JFC....
living at home sucks, but I"m trying to save money honey. to live a life of inadequate loving and loneliness that seems unbearable. so i'll just eat and get fat.... JFC...
JFC = Jesus Fucking Christ"