I crashed the car yesterday, and the mechanic won't be able to fix until tuesday. that's because obon is the time of year when Okinawans celebrate the return of their ancestors in a family members home. I'll hear the drum beats outside until after midnight and it doesn't bother me at all. I grew up here and even though I don't have an ounce of okinawan blood in me, I feel their emotions when their celebrating. On the last day of Obon, the sounds get louder and later, because they're bidding their ancestors farewell. "Until next year" , their saying as they sweat through their black cotton skin tight garments while they beat on their drums and chant the same song I've heard since I was an infant. The songs melody is truly beautiful, it's happy and sad at the same time. You have to hear it to believe it, that a single song can encompass both emotions entirely.
and these are the things you hold on to, when you're in a place where you feel you rather not be. it's home and that aint ever gonna change. and my heart beats after every time I hear obon songs, and see them dance in the middle of the street.
so i sit in solace after a tough week of deciding wheter I want to stay on this island for the short run. the truth is, that I'm 25 years old and in the last 2 years i've made tons of mistakes and I need some grounding. living with my parents will be tough, but who knows if I'll ever get this oppurtunity again. and whatever I'm losing by staying here, I can gain later on in life. the UK working visa is there for another 5 years and life goes on. I won't fall in love with this place, because i'm from here. I've already learned that money won't make me happy, but a steady paycheck contributes to a good self-esteem.
what the heck is wrong with me? why am I feeling so positive today? well I better live off it while its here.